Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
