Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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