oh god the rape fog is back!
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
My boob is missing a layer of skin
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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