I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
