it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
