3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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