Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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