you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
