im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
