Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
and she was petting her beer can
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
