Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
