Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
