well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
