Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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