did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
