Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
