just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to summon your inner elephant
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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