I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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