i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
