it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize