dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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