Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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