How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize