butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
