Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He better not be in your backpack
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
