Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
