For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my liver is dry heaving
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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