i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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