Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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