Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
