Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
