I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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