12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
