K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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