Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
