im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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