Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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