he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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