If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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