i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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