What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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