You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
