at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
