I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize