And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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