Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
