i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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