He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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