I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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