I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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