it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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