She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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