You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize