life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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