I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
