She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
