I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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