It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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