Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You can't just leave with hair like that
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
