no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
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He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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