you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
