I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
