I like my sex mixed with concussions.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
