I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
